


Catharsis

by Autistic_council_spectre



Series: Waking Dream [1]
Category: Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Ziira is a bit of a mess, but that's okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-17 03:52:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14824746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Autistic_council_spectre/pseuds/Autistic_council_spectre
Summary: Wherein Shaziira Valtieri deals with her emotions the main way she knows how: destruction. And Martin is as ever unsure but trying his best.





	Catharsis

**Author's Note:**

> ziira does not like herself and being compared to an animal doesn't help that out at all

She was fine. It was a litany that played over and over in her head as she walked, stumbled more like, back to her room. She was fine fine fine _fine._

Her claws were scraping against the walls of this sprawling castle before she came to her room and she, _flung_ , open the door. It hit with a crack that barely registered before it was slammed shut again. The wood and metal creaking in the background of her focus as she shrieked in anger.

She was shaking all over as snippets of the conversation came back in a loop. _“You don't deserve to be here you fucking demon-”_

_“He chose me-”_

_“He keeps you on because you're useful, you'd be put down like the beast you are otherwise. Do you really think anyone can see a bloodthirsty freak like you and love it? You're more akin to a fucking dog than a person.”_

Demon and beast were the litany now as she trembled in that room. Too sharp claws pressing into her ribs and too sharp fangs in her lips.

Before she knew it she was across the room in one stride, two, three. And the table was. Flung. Away from her into the back wall where it erupted in a shower of wood with a terrible crash. She could feel manic laughter bubbling up and knew she'd regret this later but now it felt. Good. Good to fling things against the walls, wood and glass shattering in a rainfall. Again and again and again. Oh Martin would be angry but she. Didn't. _Care_.

At some point in her reckless abandonment she gripped a piece of glass too tight, the sharpness digging into her flesh with only barely a proper register before she dropped it. And black blood poured out of the wound freely like a waterfall. A testament to her sin.

She sunk to the floor as she blinked red eyes slowly, almost in confusion, at the blood coming out of her. Slower now that the wound started to heal. It was black as night made starker so against the white of her fur. She sat there for a long time staring at the blood, until the wound closed and it started to dry before getting to shaky feet.

It was on those trembling legs that she walked, or crawled, into the remains of her bed. Part of the headboard had been torn off and a side piece was missing. But it was fine.

So she curled up as tight as possible, wheezing little breaths coming out of her as she tried to remember how the living breathed, before sleep took her away. Away from that litany of monster, monster, monster playing in her head.

\------------

She didn't know how long she had slept,only that what woke her was the groan of the old door and a brief, sharp inhale. She could tell by the taste on the air and the way he walked it was Martin. But she stayed curled up in her ball and refused to move, even as he sat next to her and rested a hand on her leg. The bed creaked ever so slightly as he moved with every inhale.

They sat like that for a long time before he spoke, softly and low like one spoke to a wild animal. “Shaziira..”

That. That made her turn and snarl at him deep throated. All sharp teeth and feral eyes, like a rabid animal. Or a frightened cornered one. “Why. Why the fuck do you come in here, getting off like you like me? Like you _love me?_ ” Her words were a sharp hiss through bared fangs, long and painfully obviously unnatural.

“Because I do. Because I'm determined to make you see that, even if you're determined not to.” His hand came back to her leg with that soothing voice of his. It briefly calmed the trembling she hadn't known had started up again. “You hate yourself I know and you tear yourself apart more than anyone else could. So I'm here for you.”

The noise she made then was less of a snarl and more of a choked back whine. She didn't cry, she hardly did anymore, but she did allow herself to drape over his lap. Warm hands settled on her back and she heard his heartbeat so loud.

She wasn't okay, she wouldn't be for awhile but that was okay in itself. It would be okay. Eventually.

**Author's Note:**

> self care is low-key projecting ur issues on ur OCs yeet


End file.
